Joke No. 134

Paddy Murphy

Paddy Murphy comes into a Belfast pub, looking like he'd
just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his
nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's
walking with a limp.

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.

"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

"That little jerk, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do
that to you, he must have had something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and
a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."

"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself,
didn't you have something in your hand?"

That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a
thing of beauty it is, but totally useless in a fight."