Joke No. 262

PURINA DIET

I have a Labrador Retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina
at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me
asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened
in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food
is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was
by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was
behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been
sitting in the street licking my butt and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to need help as he roared with
laughter staggering to the door and fresh air.