Joke No. 207

Doilies

A new bride moves into a small home on her husband's
ranch. As she's putting her things away, she stores a
shoebox on a shelf in her closet and asks her husband
never to touch it.

For 50 years, the man leaves the box alone. Then, as his
wife is old and dying, he is putting their affairs in order
and finds the box again.

Opening it, he finds two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He
takes the box to her and asks about the contents.

"My mother gave me that box the day we married," she
explains. "She told me to make a doily to help ease my
frustrations every time I got mad enough at you, that I
wanted to bash your head in."

Her husband is touched that in 50 years she had been
mad at him only twice.

"But what's the $82,500 for?" he asks.

"Oh, that's the money I made selling the doilies."