All About Jokes

A place to laugh with all kinds of jokes.

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Friday, January 18, 2008

Joke No. 186

Zoo Or No Zoo

A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot
and taken it to their room where, much to the groom's
annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on
their love-making. Finally the groom threw a large towel
over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the
zoo if he didn't quit it.

The next morning, packing to return home, the couple
couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling,
you get on top and I'll try."

That didn't work. Figuring they needed more weight on
the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try."
Still no success.

Then he said, "Look. Let's both get on top and try."

At that point, the parrot yanked away the towel and said,
"Zoo or no zoo. This I gotta see!!

Joke No. 185

Regular or Premium Gas

When the family car developed a slight knock, the
husband asked his wife if she had bought regular
or premium gas, but she couldn't remember.

"You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That
could account for the engine running so rough."

"No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly.

"Well, how much did it cost?" asked the husband.

"It cost the same as always," said the wife. "I bought
the usual ten dollars worth."

Joke No. 184

The Matchmaker

The Matchmaker goes to see Mr. Avery, a confirmed
bachelor for many years. "Mr. Avery, don't leave it
too late. I have exactly the one you need. You only
have to say the word and you'll meet and be married
in no time!" says the Matchmaker.

"Don't bother," replies Mr. Avery, "I've two sisters at
home who look after all my needs."

"That's all well and good, but all the sisters in the
world cannot fill the role of a wife."

"I said 'two sisters'. I didn't say they were MY sisters."

Joke No. 183

Overheard at Home Depot

Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts
around Home Depot when they collide

The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm
looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention
to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm
looking for my wife, too.� I can't find her and I'm getting
a little desperate."

The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other.
What does your wife look like?

The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red
hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing
tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?"

The old guy says, "Doesn't matter -- let's look for yours."

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