Joke No. 145

ALBERT EINSTEIN's BIRTHDAY

This month is the anniversary of Albert Einstein's birthday.
He was born March 14, 1879.

Few remember that the great scientist married his cousin,
Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved in 1919.

Einstein stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she
was well endowed. He postulated that if you are attracted
to women with large breasts, the attraction is stronger if
there is a DNA connection.

This came to be known as Einstein's Theory of Relative Titty.

Joke No. 144

The Preacher

There once was a Preacher that went to heaven. When
he got to the pearly gates, there was a man in front of
him. The man was a mess (t-shirt, long hair, and wearing
flip flops). The man told St Peter his name and told him
he was a New York taxi driver.

St Peter looked up his name and gave him a silk robe
and a silver staff.

The Preacher then walked up to St Peter gave his name.
He told him he was a Preacher of such & such church. St
Peter looked up his name and gave him a cotton robe
with a wooden stick.

The Preacher complained and said " Hey, the guy before
me was a taxi driver and you gave him a silk robe and a
silver staff. I'm a preacher of the word of God and all I
got was this flimsy cotton robe and a wood stick."

St Peter said to the Preacher, "When you preached people
slept, When he drove people prayed."

Joke No. 143

Ole Olson

Ole Olson was working at the fish plant up north in
Duluth when he accidentally cut off all ten of his
fingers.

He went to the emergency room in the Clinic and
when he got there the Norsky doctor looked at Ole
and said, "Let's have da fingers and I'll see vad I
can do."

Ole said, "I haven't got da fingers."

"Vad do you mean, you haven't got da fingers?" he
said. "Lord - it's 2006! He's got microsurgery and
all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put
dem back on and made you like new! Why didn't
you bring da fingers?"

To which Ole answered, "How da hell was I suppose
to pick dem up?"