Joke No. 176

Two Guys

Two guys from Daniels County are a sittin' in a boat at Fort
Peck, Montana, fishing and suckin' down beer when all of a
sudden Dale says, "Ya know, I think I'm gonna divorce my
wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 6 months."

Earl sips his beer for a moment and says, "If I were you, I
would think it over very carefully - women like that are darn
hard to find."

Perfect Mate

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on
her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The
man I marry must be a shining light amongst company.
He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. Entertain. And stay
home at night!"

An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Girl, if that's all
you want, get a TV...!"

Joke No. 175

BILL

Bill was perusing the long list of specialty martini's at a
new cocktail lounge that opened in a nearby restaurant,
when an absolutely stunning blonde sat down on the
stool next to him.

Being friendly, naturally he offered, "Can I buy you a
martini ?"

She replied, "No, actually you can't, alcohol is bad for
my legs, but thank you."

Surprised Bill said, "That's a shame, do they swell?"

She smiled and said, "No, they open!"

Joke No. 174

Seven Ten Cap

The other day I was in the local auto parts store. A lady comes
in and asks for a seven ten cap. We all looked at each other
and said, "What's a seven ten cap?" She said "You know, it's
right on the engine. Mine got lost somehow and I need a new
one." "What kind of a car is it on?" they asked.

Now I'm thinking maybe an old Datsun Seven Ten, but no, she
said, "It's a Buick." "OK lady, how big is it?" She makes a circle
with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter. "What does it do?"
we asked. She said, "I don't know but it's always been there."

One of us gave her a note pad and asked her if she could draw
a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 1/2 inches in
diameter and in the center she writes 710. The guys behind
the counter are looking at it upside down as she writes it and
they just fall down behind the counter laughing.